Sunday, September 2, 2012

Thriving During Deployment

I think we are more or less ready for my husband's deployment. I mean, as much as you can get ready for the love of your life  to leave you for several months. However, it is all about attitude, and we are trying to be positive. A good attitude will encourage and give us hope when we are confronted by this challenge. 

When facing separation, some couples look at it as the time when their relationship and lives are put on hold. They often say, "When this deployment is over, then we will start living again." Simply surviving during separation is not a good option, since life, as you know, is short. Why waste this precious time when both you and your spouse can grow individually and as a family instead? Our firm decision for this separation is as follows: We don't want to just survive. We want to thrive! 

Do you have a list of things that you want to do but keep postponing them to some later, unknown, time? Is there a book that lies on your shelf and collects dust, and every time you see it, you remind yourself that you want to read it one day? I know I have such a list. When I was studying for CPA exams, I made a list of things I would do as soon as I passed the exams. Some of them were learning how to play piano, re-reading my favorite book, "Master and Margarita" by M. Bulgakov, cross-stitching, and improving my Spanish. However, even after I passed my exams (and got licensed), I never got to doing those things. Something seemed to be always in the way. We are actually excited about this deployment because it will be a unique opportunity for us to do all those things we always wanted to do. My husband, Lord willing, will be able to work out consistently and to plan our future. I will be able to read that book and to spend more time growing professionally. Finally, we will be able to focus on our spirituality and to grow closer to our Lord. 

However exciting it may sound, we will need to be very mindful of each other and to include each other in our lives. I do not want to discover a completely different person in place of my husband when he returns home. Likewise, I  want him to recognize me. While we will be growing individually, we will share our new experiences with each other. We will still support and care for each other. I want to become a better wife for my husband, and I will take every minute of this deployment to improve myself, spiritually, physically, and mentally. He is my main motivator to be the best companion for him!

Separation does not have to be a dark and difficult time. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can change our attitudes about those circumstances. After this deployment, my husband will never leave me for a long time again, and we will start growing our family, Lord willing. These several months may as well be my last chance to get to those things from the to-do list! And I am not going to waste it. 

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