"Are you a good wife?" - I have asked myself this question many, many times. Even though I try to clean, make lunch for my husband, wake up with him at an early hour, and take care of myself for him, something always seems missing. If I come home late from work and he has already prepared dinner, I feel like I failed. If he has started the laundry, I feel useless! In my mind, I must always be there for him, ready to listen and to take away all his sorrows. All that with his favorite food ready. In a spotless house. Dressed up and with my makeup on. Right after a long day at work. Anything less feels like a complete failure.
However, I am blessed with a wonderful, thoughtful husband who helps me get down to earth by letting me know what exactly I need to do in order to be a perfect wife for him: to submit to him and to respect him. And that's it?! That is when he reminds me of Colossians 3:18-19, "18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." In fact, if we focus on our roles, it will be so much easier to have a happy and fulfilling marriage!
When I respect my husband, it is easy to submit to him, for in my eyes, he has authority to make decisions for our family. When I follow him, he feels respected and is encouraged to lead me. In response, he loves me and is more patient when I have a bad day or need to share my worries. When I see that he listens to me AND actually hears me, I am eager to follow him. When a husband feels respected and a wife feels loved, they want to do things for each other. Even small signs of attention, such as him washing the dishes or her ironing his shirts, will be pleasant for both.
I cannot always be a perfect wife, but when I know that I should focus only on two things (to submit and to respect) instead of a thousand, it surely makes me feel less stressed. Being a good wife is not that hard, after all!