Monday, April 30, 2012

Making New Friends

Democritus once said, "It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help." I heard this quote several years ago and have been convinced of its truth. Last weekend, I went back to North Carolina to visit my husband. I decided to come a couple of hours earlier to see my friend in Raleigh. We keep in touch, but I had not seen her for over a year. When I called her to see if she could pick me up at the airport, I was sure she would change her plans and agree. I was sure that she would be excited to see me. And she was. David and I received the warmest welcome from her and her family. It was an amazing time! 

We also visited my teacher of English and David's teacher of Russian, who happens to be the same person who introduced us to each other and gave me the happiness of my life (my husband.)  She has been a wonderful and faithful friend for years, and I know she will always help whenever we need it. I have several great friends who I know I can always count on. This confidence of their help helps me tremendously.


If you have ever moved, you know that once you unpack your boxes, install Internet, and settle down, your soul starts longing for some human company. My husband is my best friend, but, being a soldier, he cannot be always with me (at least physically.) My Mom is also my best friend, but she lives in Hawaii. What do you do when all your friends are in different states or even in different countries?

I have noticed that the older I am, the harder it is to make friends. It is also difficult to make acquaintances. I like to be quiet and listen and rarely make the first step. I have always been a little jealous of people who can strike up a conversation with anyone and be likable right away. I need time to open up; if someone makes the first step, I will make the second. 

As my David is preparing to leave, I am hoping to make new friends. I am actually planning on ACTIVELY pursuing it. Work, church, yoga class, and facebook groups are some of the places to start. Maybe I will even get a dog (not really a human company, but company nonetheless.) Any idea how I can find friends without being awkward? 

9 comments:

  1. You'd be surprised how much human company you'll find as a result of the dog company. I'm in charge of walking the dog and I meet so many more neighbors because of it! Also, there doggie playgroups (try meetup.com to find them) to meet even more people.

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    1. Thank you, Lauren! I really appreciate your advice! As for a dog, what kind do you have and what kind would you suggest to get for a first time dog owner?

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  2. I have a Beagle/Jack Russell mix and I just love her. (Looks similar to http://jackrussellbeagle.dogimages1.com/images/jack-russell-beagle-2.jpg) I guess the advice I have for someone in your situation is consider avoiding a large dog. As a military family you'll probably be moving around a lot and many rental properties have weight/size/breed restrictions. I'd say avoid pit bulls or pit bull mixes (not because they're not loving but because having one may restrict your residency options) and dogs over 30 lbs. Labs are popular dogs but very high energy and you may find it hard to give one enough attention by yourself. Plus a slightly smaller dog won't feel as cooped-up in an apartment compared to a large dog.

    If you're a doggie first-timer, I'd recommend talking a puppy- or dog-training class at the local Petco or Petsmart. The classes train you more than they train the dog!

    Best of luck!

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    1. Thank you, Lauren! Your dog is adorable! Thank you for your advice. We will definitely take it into consideration. And thank you for letting me know who you are! If you are ever in Nashville area, our home is open to you and your family!

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    2. You're too kind, thanks!

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  3. (By the way, hello! I was a member of Cornerstone EPC growing up and a big fan of the Oliphant family. Buck married my husband and I in 2005. My mom was the Cornerstone secretary for a long time. I found your site through Kiki's blog (which I also love) and my sister's twin blog was featured in the same Kiki post as yours. I have some pretty cute nieces! I met you briefly at church around Christmas 2010, but I'm sure you met a lot of people then as a new member of the family! I live in upstate NY now and don't get to see many Texans anymore. Anyway, just wanted to let you know who this random commenter was!)

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    1. Thank you, Lauren! I am sure if I saw you, I would have remembered. But yes, I met a lot of people then :) Let us know when you come down!

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  4. Taya,
    I agree with you. Maybe you should move to Kansas City so we can hang out? I know that is not going to happen, but it would be so fun! :) Meeting people is so hard. It can also be difficult to find friends who have similar free time. I've met a couple people here who are super busy or who are really busy when I have free time. I am hoping to find a Bible study to meet some more fun women.
    -Lauren O.

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    1. I know exactly what you mean, Lauren! I met great people at work who I can do things with. We just started going to a church nearby, and I am planning to check out a women's Bible study there. It is important to have support from people other than your husband :) I would love to move to KS and to hang out with you and little Hayes, but I've got to work. Maybe next time :)

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